Slow down, take your time, and thoroughly evaluate your situation.
If you are uncertain as to whether you want to separate and you are not in a situation where your personal safety requires an immediate exit from the relationship and home, consider taking your time to sort through these thoughts and feelings first, and explore whether repairing the marriage is something you want and is feasible. With guidance and expert input, mentally walk down the path of what the reality of divorcing would be. Separating and divorcing are big decisions that have serious legal, financial, emotional, and practical consequences. It is best to make this decision with eyes wide open or you may have surprises in your divorce process that could have been avoided. It is often a worthwhile endeavor to really unpack your beliefs and perceptions about your partner and your marriage, to be at your best place emotionally in your current situation before you go about finalizing your decision about whether to change it, or your old problems may follow you to a new relationship.
Of course, in a domestic violence situation, personal safety comes first and immediate action should be taken to preserve that. If you have children and are unsure of their safety, you must also make their safety and well-being a priority!
If you’re afraid for your personal safety, it may be a good idea to consult an attorney about what steps can be taken to preserve your personal safety and that of your children in advance of you communicating your decision to divorce to your spouse.
If you decide to divorce, it is best to have a plan about what at least the first few months of separation will look like in terms of your housing, financial resources, and parenting time with your kids.