At what point should I give up?
Take your time, and evaluate your situation.
If you are uncertain as to whether you want to separate and you are not in a situation where your personal safety requires an immediate exit from the relationship and home, consider taking your time and really working through these thoughts and feelings first. Separating and divorcing are big decisions that have serious legal, financial, emotional, and practical consequences. If you run from one unhappy situation thinking that alone will make you happy, you may find you were wrong. It is advisable to really unpack your beliefs and work on your mindset to learn to be at peace in your current situation before you go about changing it, or your old problems may follow you to the new situation.
Of course, in a domestic violence situation, personal safety comes first and immediate action should be taken to preserve that. If you have children and are unsure of their safety, you must also make their safety and well-being a priority!
Make sure you are safe at all times. Your safety and well-being is most important!
If you’re afraid, it may be a good idea to contact your local police department ahead of time and ask to speak to someone that can advise you, and be there for you when the time comes. It may be helpful if they know what to expect – before a situation escalates. They can also assist you with assistive services and getting a restraining order in a worst-case scenario, which I sincerely hope will not happen to you!
If you decide to divorce, it is best to have a plan about what at least the first few months of separation will look like in terms of your housing, financial resources, and parenting time with your kids.