Helping women who are anticipating, going through, or moving on…
from Divorce
I’ve been there, and can coach you to the other side.
Helping women who are anticipating, going through, or moving on…
from Divorce
I’ve been there and can coach you to the other side.
Hello there! I’m Lauren Fair.
Divorce or family separation is a tragic and life-changing event – regardless of the circumstances or the stage you’re in. As a Certified Life Coach, I help my clients navigate these all-consuming and uncertain times and find the positives to be found at every turn so they can heal and live productive, peaceful, happy lives in their next chapter or help them to make peace and thrive in their current marriage when possible or desired.
One of the most rewarding aspects of my career as a lawyer has been seeing the change in my clients from when I start working with them, oftentimes at the beginning of their family separation, to their life post-divorce. Many of them have remarked how grateful they were to have me by their side through the isolating, winding, and often-complicated and confusing divorce process.
I have been a divorce attorney for the past 12 years, running a highly successful boutique family law firm in Southern California. In addition to being a legal expert on divorce, I went through my own devastating divorce and re-built a life I love. Wherever you are on your divorce journey, I have either been there myself or helped clients who have been there.
Ready to get started?
If you’re ready to start the process, but you’re not sure where to begin or find the right attorney, you’re not alone! I created a guide that can help point you in the right direction. Just enter your email and name – and the download will head your way momentarily. (And don’t worry – I won’t be sharing your info with anyone else.)
Client Love
“Lauren Fair’s expertise, empathy, compassion, and thoroughness were a grounding force for me during a traumatic time. Compounding the typical stressors of divorce were the realities of fundamentally different parenting styles. I often found myself lamenting to Lauren. She served impeccably as my attorney, to the point where Lauren also became a confidante.”
“When my divorce finally ended, I didn’t know where to go from there. I heard about Lauren from a friend and reached out to her for help because I felt like I needed someone who understood where I was at in my life and help figuring out my next step. With her support and guidance, I have been working on moving past the emotional baggage from my divorce as well as starting my own business. Working with Lauren has been fun, helpful, and provided me so much insight into why I was getting stuck on my own. Her knowledge and experience not only with the aftermath of divorce but also with managing a law firm as a business have made her an invaluable resource to me on both a personal and business development level. She really helps me find the answers within myself to find the best solutions for me and my business. It’s comfortable and reassuring to talk to her each week and she helps me stay focused. I wish I had found Lauren earlier in my divorce!”
“Lauren Fair has been amazing. She is attentive, knowledgeable, compassionate, hard working, and an amazing advocate to have on my side. I feel lucky to have her through this difficult time and trust in her judgment completely. Her expertise and attention to detail is astonishing. I would recommend Lauren to anyone who needs a supportive and strong coach on their side!”
Lauren was an amazing support to me during the beginning stages of my divorce when I had no idea what I was doing. Her non-judgemental, “stop beating yourself up” approach was exactly what I needed. She is understanding, yet no-nonsense and helped to keep me on track with the overwhelming tasks of starting over. She helped me focus on the positives in my life and gave me strategies and tools that fit with my particular situation. I will forever be grateful to have been able to lean on Lauren through this emotional and difficult process.
Support through all stages
Pre-Divorce
Maybe you are struggling with whether to get a divorce and need help deciding whether to stay or go. I can help you get to the heart of what you truly desire and process your thoughts and feelings in order to make your own informed decisions and really understand and like your reasons for them. Whether you decide to stay or to go, I can show you how to make a powerful shift in your mindset that can help improve your existing relationship or help you better navigate the separation.
Perhaps your spouse wants a divorce and you don’t. You’re sad and overwhelmed. Life is not turning out the way you expected. You are thinking about splitting parenting time and holidays with your kids with your future ex-spouse and find yourself gutted and resentful.
Mid-Divorce
Are you already going through a divorce and feel like you are lost or drowning? Maybe you are finding yourself sobbing while driving to work or after dropping off the kids at school – wondering when it will be over and when your pain will go away. You feel like you have exhausted your family and friends and need somewhere else to turn. You need someone to listen to you, not judge you, and guide you through this difficult chapter and on to a better one, which sometimes is hard to envision will ever happen. Perhaps you are embarking on new divorce-related tasks, like re-entering the workforce or starting a new business, for example, and are overwhelmed and stuck in inaction. I can help you.
I am well versed in the business of divorce and I can help you build a support team and educate you on ways to efficiently handle your legal and financial advisors to help minimize the overall costs of the divorce.
Post-Divorce
Or maybe your divorce just ended last week, or 10 years ago, and you feel like you have unresolved issues preventing you from having the life you want. It could be that you are trying to navigate co-parenting with an uncooperative ex or your child to whom you have been the primary parent their whole life is a teenager now and has decided to live with your ex. Perhaps you’re heading back into the dating scene and are terrified at the prospect of dating after being with one person for so long or you want to lose that 15 pounds you put on during the decline of the marriage, but can’t seem to get started. We can work together to get clear on what your goals are for your next chapter and move forward with enthusiasm and optimism about the new opportunity you have to re-design your life to fit and fulfill your greatest needs and desires.
I’m here to help you.
I became a coach to focus more of my time and expertise on supporting women through major life changes that are isolating and daunting to conquer alone. Whether you are worried about finances, your kids, retirement, the legal divorce process, healing from the pain of the separation, or just the future in general, I have been on this emotional rollercoaster and I can help you expedite your return to the station and disembark.
I am here to help you find the positives in the negative, to let go of what does not serve you, and to move forward boldly to create your dream life.
Private 1:1 Coaching
Because I’ve been in your shoes, I know how important it is to have someone you can count on and trust! I offer private one-on-one personal coaching to a limited number of women each year for 6 months at a time. Coaching packages include 1:1 weekly coaching sessions and are highly customized to each client’s needs. Sessions occur remotely so I may support women around the world.
My 6-month coaching program is perfect for you if:
- You are considering initiating divorce, facing a divorce desired by your spouse, going through a pending divorce, or recovering and moving on from a divorce that has already been completed – no matter how long ago!
- You want to get through the legal process faster, less expensively, and more confidently.
- You need a safe space to vent your feelings and experiences without fear of judgment and receive support.
- You are ready to tackle issues and goals big and small on a weekly basis to get unstuck and let go of what has prevented you from reaching your goals in the past.
- You are ready to work on your mindset to help you handle circumstances over which you have no control and reach your potential.
- You are committed to being coachable and taking action to create the results you want as you navigate this important life transition.
Divorce is a plot twist – not the end of your story. It can be a life-changing opportunity to question your knowledge about yourself and your values, reconnect with your soul, revive your spirit, and come out ahead in ways you never thought possible. 
What steps should I take if I’m considering divorce?
1
Hire a Coach and/or Therapist
Emotional Strength
If you are considering divorce, you may be feeling ALL the feelings or buffering to avoid feeling them. You may be uncertain, confused, and overwhelmed, which often leads to being frozen in inaction. This can be a very isolating time and without the right support, the effects of these feelings can bleed over into other areas of your life and wreak havoc on your emotional, mental, and even physical well-being. You can talk to your family and friends, but they often have their own biased opinions about your situation they feel free to share and may not provide you a safe, neutral space to help you process your feelings or share sensitive information confidentially. Hiring a coach can be useful in two major areas at this stage:
(1) Personal / Divorce Coaching
A personal divorce coach can help you process your emotions, make decisions about whether you want to stay or want to go, as well as really understand the basis for those decisions and like your reasons for them. A coach can also help you with a myriad of issues as you work to repair the marriage or move forward through the divorce and into your next chapter.
(2) Couples Coaching
There are coaches who focus solely on coaching couples. Couples coaching can be a great option for couples on the brink of divorce, as couples coaching often focuses on mindset work and learning to love the situation you are in, rather than on making demands of your spouse or seeking to change them. It can be a valuable alternative or addition to couples therapy.
2
Gather Relevant Financial Documents
Get Prepared
In order to prepare to receive some preliminary legal advice and education on what it would be like, financially, to divorce, you should gather at least the following financial documents, if possible, for each spouse:
- Tax returns for the last 3 years
- W-2s and/or 1099s for the last 3 years
- Pay stubs for the last 2 months
- Current bank statements
- Current retirement account statements
- Current mortgage statement
- Year-to-date profit and loss statement of either party is self-employed
These documents will allow an attorney to have a basic understanding of your financial circumstances and assist you in making some preliminary assessments about property division and child and spousal support in your situation.
3
Consult a Family Law Attorney
Bring in an Expert
I often hear from coaching clients, “Well, I don’t know if I need an attorney.” It is always a good idea to at least have a consultation with an experienced family law attorney in your area so you can get educated on the divorce process and expected timeline, have your questions answered, and learn about issues that may exist in your case you had perhaps not even been aware of that need to be addressed. Do not equate the value of a consultation with a family law attorney with your ability to do a Google search on divorce-related topics or ask a friend what happened in their divorce. On occasion, I have had clients in my litigation practice tell me they read this or that on the internet or that their friend told them this or that and whatever that advice was was almost always wrong and caused the client to have misinformed expectations.
Many attorneys offer free consultations, so there can be no cost downside to just obtaining the information they have to share. I have had many potential clients tell me at the end of our consultations that they just felt better and relieved because they had learned so much on our call and it helped put their mind at ease as to what to expect as they move through the case, regardless of whether they decided to move forward with legal representation. It can also help eliminate a spouse’s ability to effectively intimidate or control you with threats they cannot legally carry out. (Think: “I am going to take the kids away from you!” Or, “If you leave, you will never get spousal support from me!”)
Finally, it is less expensive to hire a qualified attorney to do the job right the first time than to pay one later to try to undo and redo what you did wrong on your own. Trust me, I’ve been tasked with those projects time and time again.
1 – Hire a Coach and/or Therapist
Emotional Strength
If you are considering divorce, you may be feeling ALL the feelings or buffering to avoid feeling them. You may be uncertain, confused, and overwhelmed, which often leads to being frozen in inaction. This can be a very isolating time and without the right support, the effects of these feelings can bleed over into other areas of your life and wreak havoc on your emotional, mental, and even physical well-being. You can talk to your family and friends, but they often have their own biased opinions about your situation they feel free to share and may not provide you a safe, neutral space to help you process your feelings or share sensitive information confidentially. Hiring a coach can be useful in two major areas at this stage:
(1) Personal / Divorce Coaching
A personal divorce coach can help you process your emotions, make decisions about whether you want to stay or want to go, as well as really understand the basis for those decisions and like your reasons for them. A coach can also help you with a myriad of issues as you work to repair the marriage or move forward through the divorce and into your next chapter.
(2) Couples Coaching
There are coaches who focus solely on coaching couples. Couples coaching can be a great option for couples on the brink of divorce, as couples coaching often focuses on mindset work and learning to love the situation you are in, rather than on making demands of your spouse or seeking to change them. It can be a valuable alternative or addition to couples therapy.
2 – Gather Relevant Financial Documents
Get Prepared
In order to prepare to receive some preliminary legal advice and education on what it would be like, financially, to divorce, you should gather at least the following financial documents, if possible, for each spouse:
- Tax returns for the last 3 years
- W-2s and/or 1099s for the last 3 years
- Pay stubs for the last 2 months
- Current bank statements
- Current retirement account statements
- Current mortgage statement
- Year-to-date profit and loss statement of either party is self-employed
These documents will allow an attorney to have a basic understanding of your financial circumstances and assist you in making some preliminary assessments about property division and child and spousal support in your situation.
3 – Consult a Family Law Attorney
Bring in an Expert
I often hear from coaching clients, “Well, I don’t know if I need an attorney.” It is always a good idea to at least have a consultation with an experienced family law attorney in your area so you can get educated on the divorce process and expected timeline, have your questions answered, and learn about issues that may exist in your case you had perhaps not even been aware of that need to be addressed. Do not equate the value of a consultation with a family law attorney with your ability to do a Google search on divorce-related topics or ask a friend what happened in their divorce. On occasion, I have had clients in my litigation practice tell me they read this or that on the internet or that their friend told them this or that and whatever that advice was was almost always wrong and caused the client to have misinformed expectations.
Many attorneys offer free consultations, so there can be no cost downside to just obtaining the information they have to share. I have had many potential clients tell me at the end of our consultations that they just felt better and relieved because they had learned so much on our call and it helped put their mind at ease as to what to expect as they move through the case, regardless of whether they decided to move forward with legal representation. It can also help eliminate a spouse’s ability to effectively intimidate or control you with threats they cannot legally carry out. (Think: “I am going to take the kids away from you!” Or, “If you leave, you will never get spousal support from me!”)
Finally, it is less expensive to hire a qualified attorney to do the job right the first time than to pay one later to try to undo and redo what you did wrong on your own. Trust me, I’ve been tasked with those projects time and time again.
I often get asked…
At what point should I give up?
Read More »
Should we mediate our divorce?
Is mediation right for your and your spouse? It depends on your circumstances and how you envision utilizing mediation in the process of resolving your case…
Read More »
Will I lose my home?
Whether you will be able to keep your home depends on a number of factors, primarily financial in nature. Let’s explore some relevant things to consider…
Read More »
What if I can’t support myself financially?
If you are facing a separation or divorce and may not be able to support yourself financially, you should take immediate steps to determine what you’re eligible for…
Read More »
I’m getting remarried. Should I get a prenuptial agreement?
If you’ve been around the marriage block before, you already know first-hand that not all marriages have a fairy tale ending…
Read More »
How do I select the best divorce attorney for me?
Finding the right attorney for you can be hard, especially when you don’t know where to start! To assist you, I put together a guide with the key things that can get you pointed in the right direction…
Download Guide »
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